Its 4:13am and I am up and got a rumbling stomach ache. WTF!? So as I listen to my poor Tiki gnaws his leg off and stare at the black ceiling, I think about what I been thinking about this week…
All relationships take work. But what do you do when the work you are putting in isn’t yielding the desired results? You work harder at it because either you haven’t been or think you can make up for the other person’s lack of work. Sometimes, you work smarter by reflecting, soliciting advice from friends, Dr. Phil, and a C. Tennis article or two, and then mix well and apply: clarifying roles and expectations, honest communication, dialogue, and all that other stuff you can put in 10-step program. If that all that don’t work you do what I think alot of people do, lower your expectations (I’ve been told I have higher ones than most folks which I find very disheartening but that topic is for another day/ungodly hour of the morning). But when is it OK to just throw in the towel and call it quits? When you have lowered your expectations to the point you have to remind, no, convince yourself why you are in the relationship at all and it just hurts to try anymore? I’ve been through it, seen people go through it, see people going through it now, so I know there isn’t a simple answer. But I know one thing for sure. My heart gets heavier and heavier when I feel that people are quiting on themselves. Giving up what they know are the non-negotiables to them, the sine qua non in a relationship that will bring them happiness. And for what? Cynical Jeff says, “so the other person can get what they want while you starve yourself?”
Damn I hope I don’t have an ulcer. Gonna go poo now. Smooches.
Some pics from last week*
Friends
Food
Soundtrack of Mi Vida: More than Us – Travis
*The photo-gallery is under construction.