Soundtrack of Mi Vida: Ain’t No Reason – Brett Dennen

Because Benatar is truth…

Shouldn’t be surprised that there is more of life’s happenings when you are running harder and faster. Recently had a chance to take a hands-on-your-hips breather with some friends and look back at the distance covered.

“How have you been?” between casual friends means “How work and your love life.?” Amongst real friends it means “Hey you getting laid and paid?” Real friends keep it real. Reflections of recent events out loud (often for the first time) and friends’ telling and retelling of stories about me that have been purposely forgotten help me find my bearings as well as focus my sights on the next milestone.

After the night of roasting each other I thought of how much I was trying to not to repeat, backtrack. Maybe I have just taken some scenic back roads and detours but still am running towards the same destination. Besides stories about getting A to B directly are boring.

Soundtrack of Mi Vida: Seat Yourself-Roots Manuva

Soundtrack of Mi Vida: Two Way Monologue-Sondre Lerche

Heard Mike Connolly in an interview explain how LA has been such a great source for his writing. Mainly because it is a transients’ city, a place where people from all over come to make a better life. Not sure why, but been stuck on transient interactions for the last couple of days (o, the irony). We all have people that come in and out of our lives. All leaving some kind of mark. Many faint. But every now and then a few indelible ones cross our path.

Also been thinking about my predilection to involve myself with people who are in-between places in their lives. Maybe I am drawn into figuring out who they are and where they are in life in order to somehow I triangulate who I am, where I am. Part of me thinks I do it because I am feeling my way out of some gray, lonely spaces in my life. Maybe someone needs to try to figure me out for a change…

Soundtrack of Mi Vida: Radiate Nothing-Money Mark

I feel tired. Done. Eyes aren’t even fully open right now–I look like a sleepy Garfield, all eye lids. Of course in this half conscious state is when I come to the realization of why I haven’t really written anything in the last couple of weeks. Had alot thoughts bouncing around in my noggin but just couldn’t get them together and out. As always they were looking for that string of commonality, theme to tie them together.

Moving out is always a pain in the ass but I do get a whole lot of satisfaction from going through everything and tossing out the unnecessary (let go of your gift guilt and let go of that George Foreman grill you are never gonna use). So as I lay in this empty house I think about all that has happened these last 3 years and try put them in their cardboard boxes. The love made, the hateful words exchanged, the tears that welled up but never spilled, laughter full of heart, hopes realized, hopes that deserve a second chance. Life stories with every telling have a sweet way of becoming simpler and somehow a little deeper. Hurt and the regret slowly get displaced with acceptance and learning. Tender to tenderness. A life story worth telling, and telling again.

Like my eyes, my lips are also half functional and working up a half a smile (funny, never noticed that I start my smiles from left to right). I am gonna wake up, read this, and say “ahhh, this is why my default blog post category is Random Thoughts”

Alhambra.

Fin.

Soundtrack of Mi Vida: Yo No Te Veria Mas-Rocha

Tip of the Day: When you don’t have dau xanh, Icy Hot or Vicks VapoRub works just as well (maybe better since it’s easier to apply) to cao gio.

[Nov. 12th, 2002|08:39 pm]

[	mood	|	full	]
[	music	|	la ley-el duelo (unplugged)	]

the last place i thought i would have a talk about happiness is from my accounting professor. following a zillion slides of gasb and fasb he abruptly stops and asks if we were happy. he said he can tell a lot about people’s perception on happiness if you ask what kind of dream car they had. we went around the class and i heard a lot of wishes for benzs, audis, etc etc. when my turn came, i didn’t know exactly why i said our first family car. it was a dull white ’76 Ford Maverick that rocked like a boat over pot holes. i liked how the blue vinyl smelled and even how it stuck to us on summer days (hehe still remember those tight, unnaturally colored shorts that made you look like urkel). The piece de resistance was a statuette of the virgin mary super glued at the middle of the dashboard her back faded by years of sun but her face remained serene and welcoming.

i got real nostalgic and couldn’t concentrate on accounting afterwards. i remember a game i made up that i played with my brother in the car. while we were in the back seat i would pretend that he was invisible and look for him, by tickling him and pretend to not hear his laughter. hey we didn’t have toys, so a little imagination went a long way.

i miss my sisters. i am still completely amazed how one minute my baby sister is crawling around and bam the next minute she is walking (like a lil drunkard but a cute one). i laughed till i hurt when i saw her dancing to those paris by night videos.

woo hoo looking forward to doing nothing with the family on turkey day!!!
damn this schoolwork….evil, pure evil.

Soundtrack of Mi Vida: The Night Starts Here – Stars

I drove away knowing things will be alright. Home is where the heart it is and there is alot of heart under those roofs.

Soundtrack of Mi Vida: Cho Em Mot Ngay-Thanh Lam

“Fear never but you shall be consistent in whatever variety of actions, so they be each honest and natural in their hour. For of one will, the actions will be harmonious, however unlike they seem. These varieties are lost sight of when seen at a little distance, at a little height of thought. One tendency unites them all. The voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks. This is only microscopic criticism. See the line from a sufficient distance, and it will straighten itself to the average tendency. Your genuine action will explain itself and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. Act singly, and what you have already done singly, will justify you now. . . . ” R.W.Emerson

…sleep.

Soundtrack of Mi Vida: Home – Michael Buble

All relationships take work. But what do you do when the work you are putting in isn’t yielding the desired results? You work harder at it because either you haven’t been or think you can make up for the other person’s lack of work. Sometimes, you work smarter by reflecting, soliciting advice from friends, Dr. Phil, and a C. Tennis article or two, and then mix well and apply: clarifying roles and expectations, honest communication, dialogue, and all that other stuff you can put in 10-step program. If that all that don’t work you do what I think alot of people do, lower your expectations (I’ve been told I have higher ones than most folks which I find very disheartening but that topic is for another day/ungodly hour of the morning). But when is it OK to just throw in the towel and call it quits? When you have lowered your expectations to the point you have to remind, no, convince yourself why you are in the relationship at all and it just hurts to try anymore? I’ve been through it, seen people go through it, see people going through it now, so I know there isn’t a simple answer. But I know one thing for sure. My heart gets heavier and heavier when I feel that people are quiting on themselves. Giving up what they know are the non-negotiables to them, the sine qua non in a relationship that will bring them happiness. And for what? Cynical Jeff says, “so the other person can get what they want while you starve yourself?”

Damn I hope I don’t have an ulcer. Gonna go poo now. Smooches.

Some pics from last week*

Friends

Food

Soundtrack of Mi Vida: More than Us – Travis

*The photo-gallery is under construction.